Blog #69 Has Life, Thrown You a Curveball?

It happens to all of us and then what do you do?

A loved one gets sick or passes away. You get fired. You lose a pet. Whatever it is, it may throw us out of whack and off balance; and asking what we could have done differently or beating ourselves up which doesn’t help, it just makes things worse.

And if you’re like a lot of us, it’s easy at times to start feeling sorry for ourselves when something like this happens. It also gets easy to become obsessed with the question of “why.”

Why did this happen? Why me? Why now? Why her/him? Why?

But the problem with this is that it focuses us on the past, looking at what we may have done wrong or even looking for someone to blame. And when this search comes up empty, we can get even more anxious and more stuck and feel more hurt and confused.

In Kris Carr’s new book, I’m Not a Mourning Person.

Kris provided some helpful insight about a shift in thinking that can help when something throws us off. Here’s what she said: 

“ In the early days of my own diagnosis, I blamed myself for getting sick. I thought that if I could only figure out why cancer was in my body, maybe I could stop it—a reasonable desire but one that wasn’t serving my mental health long-term. Head-tripping 24-7 over an unanswerable question was not productive—and neither was beating myself up for something I had no control over.

In the decades since, I’ve learned that “What?” is a better question to ask than “Why?”

• What is going on in my body when I have these anxious thoughts?

• What part of my body feels the most scared or anxious?

• What can I do to support myself now? ”

We may never know why we or someone we love gets sick. Why our partner decides to leave us for someone younger. Why we get laid off from a dream job. Why a best friend suddenly becomes distant. Why a seemingly good financial investment goes awry. Harping on shame, blame and guilt ultimately is the last thing that deserves to be taking up our valuable attention and energy and space emotionally or mentally.

To create a powerful happy joyous life that encourages us to not get stuck looking back at the past and spinning our wheels with worry and fear about the future or beating ourselves up with a bunch of ‘should a, would a, could a-haves.

Stay grounded and in present time and remember all of life experiences are opportunities for growth and lesson learned. Knowing the past is the past. Look at it, and then heal and let go and let God, forgive all those involved and forgive yourself. Blow all the pictures of those past experiences and let them all go. Allow yourself to be in present time, sharing your LIGHT, your LOVE and your JOY.

As a limitless eternal spiritual being that you are, you can handle anything that comes along and it doesn’t have to be taken care of perfectly. No such thing as perfect when it comes to our awareness and growth in this life.

Give yourself a break, perfect is highly over rated!  

Just being YOU is enough! :) 

Photo of a Baseball.